“How long does it take to make a lemon pie?” my fourth grader came into the bedroom and asked as I was lying there awake but not quite ready to get out of bed and face the new day.
“Oh about an hour – or hour and a half,” I said, thinking that it could vary quite a bit depending on whether it’s got a homemade crust or not. Are we talking about a pudding pie or a lemon meringue pie? I’ve never made either for a long as my son has been around so I wasn’t sure what he was thinking of…
“How about I say an hour? Is that realistic?”
“Yes,” I said, deciding I don’t need to help him over-think it. He returned to his spelling sentences at the dining table and I got out of bed.
Last year I’d read about an author that mentioned writing her first story of length in third grade. She had written a chapter a week using the spelling words she’d been assigned to use in sentences. It was a clever enough idea that I thought it worth passing along to my son. He wasn’t interested in creating such a challenge for himself, but I’d thought it couldn’t hurt to pass along the idea. Who knows whether he might take it up some day…?
When I came to the table with yogurt for breakfast he showed me the sentence he’d been working on, which included the phrase “hot lemon pie.” I told him lemon pie would probably not be served hot. He’d added the adjective to make sure the sentence met the 10-word length requirement, I knew, so I suggested a replacement.
Last month I’d glanced at his spelling sentences. Three in a row contained the word “vary” so I took the opportunity to point out that adding “very” to a sentence usually isn’t necessary. It’s an overused word, and more precise describing words are far more useful. (This was when he had explained that each sentence with a spelling word should contain at least 10 words. “Vary” adds to the word count, at least.)
He’s struggled with writing ever since he’s been asked to produce his own prose. He over-thinks it, his teachers often conclude, at the expense of fluency. And every time I hear that it feels like sort of a déjà vu moment, taking me back to my own elementary school writing habit of sitting and staring at a blank piece of lined paper, wanting to writing but knowing that whatever I put down on the page wouldn’t be as good as it could be…knowing that I’d hate it and not want anyone else to read it.
It’s not easy to watch my kids struggle with the same things I used to struggle with (or still do). It’s unsettling to doubt whether my help is truly helpful. Yet it’s provided with the hope that he strives to improve, that in future assignments he chooses to think of a more precise word than “very” or that his imagination would be captured by the idea of weaving all the words into a story.